I drove home today listening to my favorite 90s R & B jams. Songs that have always stuck with me, made me feel the love and I realized something. When all these songs were popping I didn't know love. I was to young for love of that "nature". These are songs that I have always belted out passionately but never could I really assign these feelings to any one person, until you. It occurred to me today, that when I think of these songs, only you come to my mind and I wondered how is that? How has the image of this man become so synonymous with songs that I've been singing since my childhood.
And the answer was so simple...
I have always sung them for you. Though my physical body knew you not, my soul has always known exactly who you are. And though my ego has tried to protect me from such truths my soul self will no longer be denied.
See, dying to your ego is such a humbling experience. I thought I knew me but by allowing myself to fully love you and to not hide behind the fear of loving you for the fear of you seeing and loving me I. AM. OPEN.
It is literally like peeling an onion. The energy spurts off me in waves. The vortex is open. I am happy, I am sad. I am full, I am empty. I am whole, I am broken. I AM A GODDESS and I am merely mortal.
How could it be?
How could it be that after all this time I am just now experiencing the depths of this love?
How have I been so closed off to the essence of that which already is and was and every will be?
I really don't know but I have finally found YOU and in finding you I have found ME and through finding me I have found GOD.
For the love that we have, it is nothing but God. For the pull that we have, that is nothing but the Divine trying to get us focused on our earthly mission.
We are here to save the world and it's a little more daunting of a task then I thought it would be, but with you with me I'm ready. With you by my side I am ready to face the unknown.
I'm stepping into the abyss with you.