Boss Lady Spotlight Featured Interview

Who doesn’t love to be talked about in a positive and uplifting way? I mean, I bet you can’t think of a single person that will say, “hell naw I don’t want to be talked about in a positive light”. Exactly. So today I am excited to announce that I was spotlighted in a featured post!

Coffee time fun. Featured interview photo session. 

Now I have to be honest…this post came out months ago.  If you follow me on social media you may have seen me share the link on my social profiles. I was and still am very excited about the post. It came out during a time when I was deep in transition and my blog wasn’t receiving the love and care that it should have from me.

So, about the article!

I’m featured on the blog of Miss Antonia Nitara aka TheBossLadyBrand.com. She has taken it upon herself to feature various “Boss Ladies” and the professions that they work in. When she reached out and said that she was looking for women to interview I was more than excited to hop on board with her project. It is very rare to see women truly supporting other women and I am all the way here for that.

So, there you have it!

I want to send a special thank you to Antonia! Keep being a wonderful woman uplifting wonderful women. It’s much needed in the world today. I am so excited to be featured and I’m sure you all will love the random little details you didn’t know. 

Comment below to let me know what you think! 

To check out the article click here:

Boss Lady Spotlight, Shining  Meet Lifestyle Blogger: Dominique Nicole

Until next time.

Dominique Nicole 💋

Looking for more information about Dominique Nicole? Check out the links below.

Who is Dominique Nicole?

10 Things about  Dominique Nicole.

Gone for a minute now I’m back!

Hi there! I bet you wondered when you would hear from me next. It’s been about four or so months since my last blog post and that one was a doozy. I was gone for a minute now I’m back! It feels good to be in a creative space again. Brimming over with new ideas and content that I am aching to provide to you. Of course, we have to tackle the gigantic elephant in the room… where did I go and why.

The tea

It honestly all boils down to having an identity crisis. I started blogging because I wanted to share my voice with the world. I, and many of the people in my life, felt that I had valuable input to add to the global discussion on a variety of topics. Politics, mental health, love, general life advice, etc. You name it and I can talk about it. Pretty well I might add. I also started this blog because I was unhappy in my profession. I felt like a caged bird and no bird really wants to feel like they can’t fly

The drawback? Feeling good enough. Ready enough. Smart enough. I didn’t have faith in my ability to put out content that would grab people. On top of that, I didn’t want to peddle crap. I’m excited about the potential earnings that can come from blogging. I look forward to scoring good sponsored content that aligns with my brand but it seems like when you first start out blogging any brand should be your brand and I’m just not with that. I was struggling between a balance of thought-provoking pieces and ones that appeal to my loftier side. #identitycrisis101

So, what happened?

I stopped writing. There was so much advice out there about blogging and branding that I just felt overwhelmed. I couldn’t handle it anymore. All I wanted to do was write but I was extremely focused on everything besides great content. Some content I even contemplated writing just because it would look good visually and I had to stop. In all things I must keep integrity and even more so when my name is attached to it. Plus, the added stress of needing money and the stagnation of my art form, I just had to stop.

So, what have I been up to?

My, my, my. What foolish we weave when we are in opposition of God trying to help us succeed. LOL. I know that sounds a bit dramatic and everything that I have gone through in my absence from the blog has been for my betterment, but wow.

So first and foremost, I moved back home with my parents. Believe me when I say that none of us were thrilled with this change. I’ve pretty much been on my own since I was 17 and to have to move back home was emotionally shattering. I spent about three days in my bed grieving the move before I sucked it up and did what I had to do. The experience has really helped me clear through some heavy childhood wounds and while I am more than ready to go… I am grateful for the experience.

I got… well I had two jobs.

During my hiatus I acquired not one but two jobs and left them both. I don’t know if I’ve ever expressed this on the blog before but I have no desire to work FOR anyone else. I’m happy to work WITH people but the whole being employed and listening to other people’s bullshit is just not for me anymore. Mainly because God has this incredible way of putting me in spaces with the most damaged people, like His spiritual clean-up crew…which is fine except the work environment tends to be pretty trash and that was the case with both jobs.

The bonus however were the lessons I learned from the experiences:

  • I am not meant to work for other people – It has been told to me time and time again that I am meant to strike out on my own. I have been entirely to scared to do that but I do believe that God put me in these situations so that I could understand the calling on my life and what I’m supposed to do.
  • Great friendships can be forged in a short amount of time – Often times I feel like I have to know people for extended periods of time to grow a deep bond but my short work stays proved otherwise and I am grateful for the relationships I built.
  • Negativity is a fact of life – Part of me is always searching for the least negative experience but there is no escaping it. It’s honestly all about how you handle the negativity.

What’s next for Dominique Nicole?

Well one, I am a full-time writer/blogger again. I love how God leads you right back to the same mountain so that you can conquer it. I really compromised what I knew to be true in the name of others and money but I know now that nothing is bigger than my faith and my God.

So, you can expect to see more blog post, more social media activity and most importantly more raw and real stories. My mission is to help as many people as possible with my words and it starts by being real.

I’m also working on a few books and an e-course, which I’m really excited about. I believe all works will be extremely funny but most importantly – helpful.

To sum it all up and get up out of here…

I’m back! And it is so exciting and so amazing to be back. I cannot wait to engage with you all again and to just revel in my creative element. If you’re interested in keeping up with me please subscribe to the blog.

Until next time

Dominique Nicole 💋

Want to know more about Dominique Nicole? Check out the links below.

Who is Dominique Nicole?

10 Things about Dominique Nicole.

Living life committed

Over the course of the last few days I have been feeling the effects of overwhelming emotions and realizations. One of the many realizations that I have come to is that over the last few years of my life I have not been living committed.

But what does that mean?

In life we commit to people, places, things, choices, life paths (I think you get it at this point) and we move forward, ever persistent in obtaining those goals. Steadfast. Sometimes unnervingly dedicated to the end game in mind.

I remember that commitment. That drive pushed me through high school with honors. It helped me through many nights were I fell asleep on my textbooks, often times waking up with the pen still in my hand trying to write and a note card stuck to my face from the drool (I drool horribly when I’m exhausted).

That commitment pushed me through college when I had no help from family, emotional or financially, I was the sickest I had ever been and was working an obscene amount of jobs while having a full course load and a somewhat consistent social life. I was committed because I had a goal in mind. And even though I crossed that finished line broke, busted, disgusted, broken (I cried every day during the last 6 weeks or so of my final semester) and mentally fatigued I made it.

And then I was lost

I had accomplished it. The goal. Graduating. I was done. I followed the road map. The road map got me nowhere. The road map failed me in fact. I had no job prospects. I never had the opportunity to attend internships because I had to actually make money. I had no real connections. There were no jobs (and when I say no jobs I mean the ones worth taking because I now have 80K plus in freaking student loans) my brain and will power were depleted; I really had nothing left. So I started existing.

Drifting almost. I needed direction and the point that everyone was driving home was that I needed to make money. I needed a job. It didn’t matter what job just a job. So I looked. I only had my college work history of working retail and hotel night audit jobs to go on and that’s exactly what I ended up doing. I took a job at Bed Bath & Beyond for $8.00 an hour even though less than a year before I graduated with two degrees from Baylor University.

The drive was money

I needed to work though. I had to get out on my own two feet. Being the oldest female child in a black family doesn’t allow for the liberty to stay at home while you figure it out and get it together. It just doesn’t work that way for us and we spend most of our time being hardened and taught the lesson that we had to get it for ourselves. I knew I had to leave. I knew for any peace to exist I had to be in my own space because the scrutiny would always be there if I was at home. I knew they wanted me out.

This honestly led to a string of jobs that I never actually wanted. I took a night audit job at a hotel and between there and Bed Bath & Beyond I worked about 80 hours a week. Sleeping on the train because I didn’t have enough time to go home and sleep. Changing in the bathrooms at each job to be in the appropriate uniforms. Not eating because it was more beneficial to sleep. Six years and three job changes later I’m sitting at a job I hate, literally wishing I could die because this is not the life I wanted and feeling so utterly and totally confused and unsatisfied. Annoyed that this toxic feeling is what is pushed as “the best to expected” in life.

I made the choices I made

I can’t be mad at anyone though. I made the choices I made. Never did I truly stop to check in with myself. I let the fear of  lack of money and survival push me in a direction that I knew, that I was fully aware that I did not want to go. I sat passively by while every dream I ever had was reduced and tossed into the land of improbability. I didn’t commit to me.

Now here I am, at a time in my life where I need to be fully committed to myself and I don’t know how. I was let go from my job at the end of last year and I know that one of the biggest lessons that I am supposed to be learning right now is how to be committed to myself, my dreams, my goals. Yet, if I am wholly honest, I’m at a loss. I wake up every morning and I struggle. I have no outline. I have no blueprint. Not short on supply of dreams, goals and aspirations though. Those are there everyday crushing me. Taunting me from a distance because I’m unsure of how to move. For myself. As I’ve spent most of my life moving for everyone else.

What stifles commitment is fear

The underlying reason for lack of commitment is fear. It doesn’t matter if its commitment to a relationship, a business, a weight loss goal the underlying problem stopping people from moving forward is fear. Fear of failure, and often times fear of success. My partner and I were talking about my fears and he told me that I “can’t let my fears stop me from greatness” and that’s what is happening.

I’m afraid and it has caused a state of paralysis. I’m standing in the middle of a room attempting the balancing act of life with multiple plates in the air, but they’re just there. They aren’t spinning, rotating or crashing. They’re suspended high above as I gaze up with anxious anticipation. Waiting for them to fall. Too afraid to intervene with the process. Even more afraid of being surrounded by the deafening clatter of the dishes crashing to the earth. At this point I’ve kind of sat down on the floor, legs crossed, elbows resting on the thighs, head resting on the hands waiting for the climatic conclusion of this life.

Every “tragic” story has a turnaround

I can’t live like that anymore though. Those plates are important. They represent my blog, my brand, my business, my mental health, my physical health, my finances, my spiritual health, my relationships. I have to stand up and pull each glistening plate out a stasis and toss them back into rotation. I have to find myself committed to life again. Just this time life on my terms.

So I’m off on the adventure. Tackling each layer of change as I go.

Until next time,

Dominique Nicole

Are you struggling with being committed to life?

7 Quick & Dirty Self-care Tips

The past few weeks have been pretty hectic. To be honest I have been high key stressed and, to be wholly transparent, low key depressed. There is so much to think about let alone do and overwhelmed doesn’t begin to describe my state of mind.  One of the main causes of this emotional cluster is my lack of a self-care routine, either because of strained finances or strained time.

If you’re like me you tend to over extend yourself to help out others. At first it doesn’t phase you to go without because you’re a go getter on the move. Then all of a sudden your tank is on empty and you’re ready to let any and everyone have a piece of your mind. Just recently slacking on my self-care has cost me time, patience, a few ups and downs with my partner and a gloriously shattered tooth.

What is self-care?

Self-care can be any act that you perform that promoted a feeling/state of well-being. Basically, it doesn’t have to look any particular way. Self-care can be as simple as drinking your favorite tea in the morning to a luxurious weekend getaway. It can be removing toxic people from your life or mending that broken relationship that means so much to you.

Self-care is all about you. So treat yourself well.

Sometimes time and/or energy doesn’t allow for intricate self-care practices. Admittedly, I’m extra and it bothers me not to have the time (or expenses) that I’m accustomed to when fulfilling my needs and so I often choose to go without. After the epic breakdown of 2018 (and its barely even Spring), it is time to legit get my life. In an effort to get back on track I am talking about 7 quick and dirty self-care tips.

20 minutes of intentional silence

Silence truly is golden. I in all honesty I could spend most of my day in silence. I truly hate the noise of life (particularly city life). However intentional silence is the quick kick of rejuvenation you didn’t know you needed. Lets face it, we surrounded by stimulates. Auditory overload is real. Phones, tablets, computers, radios, other people, construction, cars, pets – there is just so much noise around us that it is hard to relax. The increase in places that offer sensory deprivation experiences attest to the fact that we need a break from the stimulants. While floating in an black noiseless pod my not be the exact experience for you, taking time to set in a low lit or dark silent room for twenty minutes will quickly release the stress and tension from your body.

Yogic Breathing

Our next self-care tip is the practice of yogic breathing. Yogic breathing relaxes not only the body but also the mind. The point is to focus on your breath, your life force, and flow as it flows. To engage in the exercise start by going to a quiet place where you can be alone. Close your eyes and begin to focus on your breathing. To begin yogic breathing inhale through your nose, then open your mouth and exhale slowly making the “Ha” sound. Practice this a few times. Once you are comfortable with this close your mouth and begin exhaling through your noise keeping the same “Ha” position in your mouth. After 20 mins of this you will feel much lighter and brighter.

If you want to learn more about the practice of yoga and it’s benefits check out this article “Four reasons to let your booty do that yoga”.

Essential Oils

I am fairly new to essential oils specifically for stress relief. I’ve been using essential oils in my hair-care routine for years though. I just recently discovered how beneficial they are and the variety of ways that you can use them. You can find blended varietals that will help with stress relief, energy, sleep, mental clarity etc. You can also by individual oils and use them as is or create your own custom blend. As of right now I used a mental clarity blend in a humidifier to help me focus and plain peppermint oil on my skin to help with headaches. When using oils directly to the skin you need to make sure its safe for direct skin contact as is, if it needs to be diluted with a carrier oil or if you should straight up not use it because some oils will indeed burn your skin.

Plate your meals

So this is a random tip that I actually learned while I was attending Weight Watchers many moons ago. So many of us are on the go and eat frozen meals, pick up takeout (and for those of us being super healthy) busting out the meal prep tuber ware and we just gobble and go. This tends to make the food unappealing, not memorable, and any meal you eat should be an experience. You’re nourishing your body and it is an experience that you should be aware of. So in an effort to practice self-care, plate your meals. Grab a nice plate. Have real silverware. Drink your bottled water in a wine glass. Heck if you eat one or meals at work keep a place setting at work to use after you heat your meals up. Makes lunchtime a time of relaxation.

Meditate

Meditation is one of the most beneficial acts of self-care you can do. It reduces stress, clears the mind and energizes you. Seriously, going into a meditative state acts like sleep on the brain leaving you rested and more alert. Cutting down on the actual amount of time you need to sleep. It also helps with clarity of mind, focus and (if you’re lucky enough to be gifted) insights and messages about your life.  Bonus: you can begin to receive ALL of these benefits with just 10 minutes of mediation time a day.  One app that I love that has been beneficial to my process is Headspace. You can click here to give it a try.

Journal

I am an avid “journaler”. I started writing in one when I was younger and have kept one in some form as I’ve grown older. Personally, I feel that journaling is one of the best forms of self-care as it offers a source of reflection. You can always learn from what you write, assessing your happiness, anger or hurt to see what you should continue or stop in your life.

Tip: Everyday try to write at least three things that you are grateful for. It really helps keep life in perspective.

Treat yo self!

Some people say that buying things for yourself is not self-care and I say that’s bs. I mean truly. There is no wrong way to practice self-care. Do you! IF SPENDING MONEY IS YOUR JAM, GO FOR IT! If sitting in a cave and meditating is your jam, GO FOR IT. Do what works for you. At the end of the day self-care is way to get to a better version of you. One version of self-care I practice is having a quarterly subscription to Fabfitfun (you can read about my obsession here) and I love it. If I’m having a bad day and I have the money in my budget to get my nails done, guess where I’m going. Do you boo boo! Do you!

So there you have it.  Seven quick and dirty ways to practice self-care. What are your favorite self-care tips?

Until next time,

Dominique Nicole